Well, a cute pregnancy produced a very cute baby boy one month ago. Gideon Robert McMillan was born on Cinco de Mayo, 2011. This morning, with the help of a 60min "sounds of waterfall" video (thanks, YouTube), as I try to rock him back to sleep through his grunting around the corner from our room so Hannah can try to string together a few extra minutes of sleep, I thought I'd take a look back at my first month of being a father.
My last moments as an expectant father were a bit of a blur, with thoughts like "Don't you DARE make a contraction joke! You'll never live it down" and, an hour and a half into pushing, "Man up Neal! I'm pretty sure the rule book says man-crying is only allowed AFTER the baby is born, not because YOU can barely stand HER pain anymore. Hold it together if it kills you!"
First moments as a father? I think it was something like "OB said one more push. I really hope...WOOOOAAAHHHH! How in the world!?!?" Followed by the most amazingly sweet feeling I've felt in my entire life. The birth of a child slings parents (most notably the mother) from one extreme emotion to the other, and just as suddenly as he appears, he is the most important priority in your life. After my wife, of course, because the next feeling was...ok, we all know what Hannah has done for this family ...Neal? Anything? Just stood there? Hm.
I'd say we did all the important things in the hospital: cut the cord, nursed him, had skin to skin time, ate popsicles, avoided changing diapers, and sang happy birthday of course! I truly felt like a changed man on the way home too; I drove at or below the speed limit, found myself with both hands on the wheel, felt like yelling at anyone within 100 ft of our car, and took corners like I was trying to balance a glass of water on the dash.
We were very blessed to have Hannah's mom helping us for well over a week. It was sad to see her go...and not because she did the dishes, cooked amazing meals every day, and stayed up with G in the night, though those were incredible features of her visit...She is great company and gave us some needed assurance that we are going to do just fine. G really looked up to her...maybe just at her.
(I should note that Hannah's sister, Cali, has also been very helpful, as well as the several members of our church dropping off meals) I've been off on parental leave for about 10 days now too which has been amazing. I've never taken a vacation quite like it. Time flies by.
In short, I love being a Dad. It presents a new phase of life, to be sure. For instance, I have never been so concerned with (or keenly aware of, thankfully) another human's bowel movements or urination range. G is such a blessing though! I think what has impressed and surprised me most is the miraculous bestowal of the capacity to love a child, which I believe is and will continually grow equal to the task of raising him. Hannah and I are amazed at how much time we could spend just looking at him sleep, stretch, squirm, hiccup, toot, grunt, furrow his brow, and move his arms aimlessly. I don't know how we'll get anything done when voluntary smiling makes its way onto that list.
