Life of Neal

Anyone else feel old?

2011-07-17T17:21:00.000-07:00

Don't worry, this is NOT a "I'm-nearing-30-now-my-life-is-practically-over" post. I've just taken a second to look around lately, and, according to my 17 year old self, I'm getting pretty dang old!

Exhibit A: I'll be 29 later this year and I have a wife and child and career; that means I'm getting old...slowly gaining speed like a sled at the top of a hill in the winter time (wait...top of the hill? Like the hill you are over when you're old? and what does it mean that I used winter? like the winter of my life? Oh man...). When you get to be 28 or 29, it's harder to remember your age. Why does it matter? You're out of milestones really: 5, 8, 12, 13, 16, 18, 19, 21. After that your milestones are really on the 10's and you begin thinking of marriage milestones instead. I can't even remember how old I am half the time. I have to calculate my age every time someone asks me because it doesn't really matter to me anymore. 25, 27, 28...were they really any different?

Exhibit B: As a sports fan, I usually associate certain players with past eras or decades. Players like Babe Ruth, Ted Williams and Jackie Robinson were all historic figures and in the Hall of Fame long before I was born. I learned about their careers through stats, books and documentaries, like I would WWII or the invention of the wheel. I've noticed in the last couple of years, that I have witnessed BOTH ends of a few Hall of Fame careers! I remember when Shaq was drafted. I remember Ken Griffey Jr's rookie year. Between my first little league game and the time G is velcro-ing on his first pair of cleats, Major League Baseball will have had 100% turnover! G will be asking for stories of Manny Ramirez, Albert Pujols, and why Barry Bonds' head was so big. Scary.

Exhibit C: I can feel myself starting to really prepare for fatherhood. I'm looking ahead to when G starts asking for explanations; the 'how' and 'why,' deep questions. Things like "Dad, how do you really tell when buttermilk goes bad?' or 'Where did doughnuts get their name, Dad? They're made out of dough, sure, but they don't look like nuts.' I need to be prepared for that kind of stuff! Currently, I have absolutely no idea how to answer, and the fact that I even have to worry about it makes me feel a little old.

When I really think about it, there's really nothing that bad about getting old though. The shape of my torso will slowly shift in appearance from apple to pear, and someday G will outrun me. My future mustache (right babe?) will slowly lose its color. My car will get bigger. But in the end, at least I'll have someone wonderful to share it with and my food at Denny's will be cheaper! Being old won't be so bad.

Embracing the Dadness

2011-06-06T05:33:00.000-07:00

Well, a cute pregnancy produced a very cute baby boy one month ago. Gideon Robert McMillan was born on Cinco de Mayo, 2011. This morning, with the help of a 60min "sounds of waterfall" video (thanks, YouTube), as I try to rock him back to sleep through his grunting around the corner from our room so Hannah can try to string together a few extra minutes of sleep, I thought I'd take a look back at my first month of being a father.

My last moments as an expectant father were a bit of a blur, with thoughts like "Don't you DARE make a contraction joke! You'll never live it down" and, an hour and a half into pushing, "Man up Neal! I'm pretty sure the rule book says man-crying is only allowed AFTER the baby is born, not because YOU can barely stand HER pain anymore. Hold it together if it kills you!"

First moments as a father? I think it was something like "OB said one more push. I really hope...WOOOOAAAHHHH! How in the world!?!?" Followed by the most amazingly sweet feeling I've felt in my entire life. The birth of a child slings parents (most notably the mother) from one extreme emotion to the other, and just as suddenly as he appears, he is the most important priority in your life. After my wife, of course, because the next feeling was...ok, we all know what Hannah has done for this family ...Neal? Anything? Just stood there? Hm.

I'd say we did all the important things in the hospital: cut the cord, nursed him, had skin to skin time, ate popsicles, avoided changing diapers, and sang happy birthday of course! I truly felt like a changed man on the way home too; I drove at or below the speed limit, found myself with both hands on the wheel, felt like yelling at anyone within 100 ft of our car, and took corners like I was trying to balance a glass of water on the dash.

We were very blessed to have Hannah's mom helping us for well over a week. It was sad to see her go...and not because she did the dishes, cooked amazing meals every day, and stayed up with G in the night, though those were incredible features of her visit...She is great company and gave us some needed assurance that we are going to do just fine. G really looked up to her...maybe just at her.

(I should note that Hannah's sister, Cali, has also been very helpful, as well as the several members of our church dropping off meals) I've been off on parental leave for about 10 days now too which has been amazing. I've never taken a vacation quite like it. Time flies by.

In short, I love being a Dad. It presents a new phase of life, to be sure. For instance, I have never been so concerned with (or keenly aware of, thankfully) another human's bowel movements or urination range. G is such a blessing though! I think what has impressed and surprised me most is the miraculous bestowal of the capacity to love a child, which I believe is and will continually grow equal to the task of raising him. Hannah and I are amazed at how much time we could spend just looking at him sleep, stretch, squirm, hiccup, toot, grunt, furrow his brow, and move his arms aimlessly. I don't know how we'll get anything done when voluntary smiling makes its way onto that list.

Pregnancy is Pretty Cute

2011-04-20T04:21:00.000-07:00

My wife is confident in herself. She doesn't obsess over weight; just wants to be healthy. She knows she's beautiful and amazing, and I'm quite glad to have married someone with a positive self-image. Pregnancy seems to frustrate women, not just because of the sometimes immediate and always growing discomfort and/or sickness, but because it re-shapes their bodies in a way they cannot control. I would say I understand, but of course I don't (as I am frequently reminded).

Pain, vomit, rib-kicking, bladder-squeezing and sleeplessness aside, I hope pregnant women know that they are pretty darn cute! I give you the following five proofs in no particular order:

5. A Gentle Snore - In a dream last week, I was on a covert mission at night, deep in the woods. Just outside the facility I was to enter for some dangerous, manly reason, I was waiting behind a tree. As I was scoping things out, I heard the growl of a dog behind me, slow and methodic. When I decided to make a run for it I woke up....The "growl" was coming from Hannah, gently snoring. I don't remember her snoring at all before pregnancy, and it's really cute. Plus, it means she's actually sleeping, which makes me happy.

4. The Pickup - I think it's fair to say that women start losing some agility as pregnancy wears on. I say 'some' because Hannah still takes daily walks, my mother-in-law ran 6mi pretty late into her first pregnancy, and I helped my mother move a piano across the room at -1 month. But I digress...Once a woman is up to 7 and 8 months, she can't just bend over and grab her shoe off the floor. Bending over requires careful balance as she must take into account a new center of gravity. Hannah looks very adorable when she has to squat and gently lean to pick something up. I help when I can though...for the record (though Hannah just said that might be a little generous. What can I say? It's just too cute not to watch sometimes! :)

3. The Bump - The baby bump is a status symbol. So many are aware of the difficulty of lugging that bump around that it demands an air of respect. Crowds part, parents smile, kids ask questions, and the father is proud, grateful. It's sad to hear a pregnant woman say she's 'gigantic' or 'huge' as if she had let herself gain 20lbs because, as my brother-in-law pointed out, she's really just 'great.'

2. Little Helplessnesses - I admit, I was a little on the 'what the?' side when Hannah first asked me to remove her socks. When I looked at her for confirmation that she had really just requested such a thing, and saw her sad little face, I had to chuckle a little.

1. 'Ma'am, your shirt is moving' - For Hannah it is pretty common place, and she often responds with a seemingly random "Hi baby! What's up?" to which I sometimes stupidely reply "huh?" Baby movements have been happening for 20 weeks now, but I'm still pretty excited every time I get to feel one. I love seeing Hannah push a knee or bum away from her ribs while reading, or seeing her belly lurch when our little dude has the hiccups.

Yeah, seeing Hannah pregnant has made me love her even more. Hopefully she thinks it's worth doing a few more times!

Car stupid

2011-04-16T04:50:00.000-07:00

I have a 2000 Mazda Protege. It's about 85 in car years and has had several surgeries in its later years. I know about as much about fixing cars as I do about fixing the Hubble. That's why I call my buddy whenever there is something wrong with it, stand there while he works, and give him a nice "tip," as he calls it, when he's done.

When I watch him, I think..."it's not that complicated really. I've replaced a headlight by myself, not to mention filling up the tires and installing new windshield wipers. This is about the same, only with a socket wrench." Watching him fix my breaks, install an EGR valve, remove the entire manifold assembly chassis something-or-other with relative ease makes me feel like I could do it with some coaching.

Most recently, however, he changed my spark plugs, each of which is encased in a rubber tube with a metal coil deep inside of it. As he was switching them out and I stood by, dutifully watching and making sporadic conversation, he noticed one of those coils was broken and therefore not as long as the other spark plugs' coils. "It probably won't matter, but it might after awhile. Here's what you do," he said, "you just need to wad up a paper clip and push it down in there if the engine starts giving you trouble."

I looked at him blankly, trying to imagine myself loosening bolts with my little wrench and/or pliers..."So I just need to...ok" I said, nodding, acting like I was figuring it out in my head. A moment or two of worried silence passed. It won't be too hard. I had seen him take them out a couple of times now, and I saw the coil.

Then he said, "Should we see if it will be alright like it is now?"

I thanked whatever car gods may be. He removed the plug and "we" made sure the current would flow uninterrupted to light a spark. Only afterward did I realize how relieved I was. I felt a little ashamed, to be honest, at my total ineptness.

Maybe I should have welcomed the challenge. Maybe I would have done just fine...Or maybe I'm just car stupid.

Inception: Remembered

2011-03-19T03:54:00.000-07:00

Last night I completed a second viewing of Inception (in two parts to extend the awesomeness...and because all weeknight viewings accompanied by 7.5 months of pregnancy have a hard stop of about 8:15pm...love you babe!). While the novelty wore off a smigeon, and the complexity seemed a bit more contrived, I still loved it. It was still gripping, and I had a new appreciation for diCaprio's performance. It got me thinking, where does Inception rate in my movie-watching history?

These are my top 5 movie theater experiences:

5. Batman Begins (2005) - As we all know, Batman is the coolest superhero, so when it's done well, it's AWESOME! After Tim Burton's version, all Batman-related movies might as well been directed by Lady GaGa, so while Begins didn't have the comic-booky feel that made Burton's Batman so great, this was so new and refreshing for a Batman movie it didn't matter. I was so pleasantly surprised with Christian Bale, villains were creepy. It is the best Batman I have ever seen.

4. Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (2001) - The anticipation is partly what made this so good. I remember how excited I was just from watching the trailers. Watching this in the theater I kept thinking, 'this is almost EXACTLY how I pictured this.' I could have watched another 2 hours of it.

3. Jurassic Park (1993) - My 11 yr old eyes had never seen special effects quite like it. Even watching it today, it's pretty impressive. Again, the anticipation factor with this movie was high, especially since I had to wait for my parents to decide whether it would be suitable for children under 13. Aside from the effects, there were 3 really memorable characters (Samuel L, Goldblum, dude-who-played-Nedry) and a lot of funny lines still heavily quoted in McMillan conversations...."Hold on to your butts....."

2. Star Wars: Episode I (1999) - I mention Episode I with some trepidation, for fear of losing credibility in my movie-buffness. I take this experience on the whole, before thinking too hard about JarJar or Samuel L Jedi: a) I was seeing Star Wars in a theater, which was a pretty legendary event for my parents' generation who was there at its inception, and now I got to be there for the next installment of Star Wars; and b) tell me the pod racing and the Darth Maul fight at the end didn't blow you away and have you leaving the theater saying "woah!" And while you think about that, think about this - when you first saw Episode I, you hadn't seen the next two yet. You didn't know. But I digress...on to my favorite.

1. INCEPTION (2010) - Who can say if it's because it is so fresh in my mind, but I honestly can't remember being so excited after the movie was over. It was like eating dessert for 148min and feeling GREAT! There are a few things outside the awesomeness of the film that made it especially good: a) I was on vacation with Hannah by VA Beach; b) I actually wasn't anticipating greatness. It looked like it could be cool, but so did a series of other movies I'd seen that summer (like The Lightning Thief); c) we only paid $6 in Chesapeake, VA.

So there you have it. In case you were wondering, Avatar was a close 103rd

Et tu, BYU?

2010-08-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

My faithful readers (of which there are MANY) will remember my previous blasting of the University of Utah for leaving the Mountain West conference for the PAC-10. I thought it was a selfish move. The PAC-10 gives them a share of a nice multi-million dollar TV deal and chance at an automatic BCS bid (also a big money-maker). The college football fan in me wanted to see if the Mountain West could become a big boy conference with TCU, BYU, UofU and Boise St. But alas, Utah had to ruin it with their greedy ways!

******** OFFICIAL APOLOGY ********

This post is my official apology to my thousands of UofU readers (whom I admire for not sending any hate mail last time). I do not apologize for hating you because you left. That sentiment still remains. I do apologize for acting like the rest of the Mountain West was above your quest for more money. BYU is not. It has followed in footsteps I never would have expected...Notre Dame!

Apparently BYU wants to be independent for football, and go back to the WAC for all other sports...much like ND and the Big East. This way, BYU won't have to share any TV-deal revenue and will potentially be BCS-eligible if they are ranked high enough. There may be other reasons I don't know about, but it seems to be a move motivated by glory; "taking its talents to South Beach" if you will. It may not even happen, but the thought alone is killing me right now.

I guess it's just football, and this will give BYU some flexibility in scheduling and, with extra football money, they can give more scholarships to other sports and university programs (and stop asking me for money every month! Just kidding...I support supporting your alma mater). But it feels a little irresponsible. I thought BYU would be a little more family-oriented. I thought it would let patience and endurance guide its conscience. I thought it would show its determination, and team with its allies to rise above the tyranny of the BCS! I wanted BYU to draw a circle around itself with chalk and say, "I will not leave this circle until the MWC is a BCS conference. No, not ever!"

Oh well...

Special thanks to Lebron James, Outkast, and Karl G Maeser for their contributions

Metro Caste

2010-08-07T16:01:00.001-07:00

From what I have observed in Washington DC, chivalry is in a coma. I do my best when I ride the metro, which isn't terribly often, to at least offer my seat to whatever lady shuffles her way near my seat. Sometimes it is an awkward exchange. Often the ambient noise is much louder than I anticipate and she can't hear me offer. Other times she straight-up declines, probably wanting to get her money's worth out of those Asics she has on if she's going to wear them with a skirt. Sometimes, if I don't offer my seat directly and clearly to woman, some dude will scurry over to it, avoiding eye contact with anyone, which is quite embarrassing to males everywhere.

I have gone so far as to ask a few women what they think about the issue. Honestly, the younger women don't seem to care as much. Some of the indifference, I believe, is not necessarily that they wouldn't like to be offered a seat, but because they accept things as they are: men just aren't as gentlemanly, so why worry about it. The rest I will chalk up to being a generation who doesn't need men for anything! So rot in that seat!

My inquiries have mostly been to younger women, who, again, don't seem to care. I got to thinking about this however, and ya know what? As I will prove in a moment, women under the age of 35 are pretty low on the Metro Caste anyway! For those who decide to give up your seat, I have put together a point system for any gentlemen left out there who may need a little help prioritizing...

Age:

18-35 = 2pts

36-55 = 5pts

56+ = 8pts

Note: You will of course, have to estimate. This is the one time in your life it will be smart to round up.

Shoes:

.5 point per inch

Carrying:

Purse: 0pts

Briefcase: weird

Backpack: 2pts

Carry-on: 3pts

5 pts for every large suitcase, unless she can sit on said suitcases

Mothers:

pregnant 0-5mo = 2pts (the only symptoms here will probably be nausea or exhaustion, which would warrant 2 pts anyway)

1 child = 6pts + 3pts each additional child (+ 5pts if crying)

pregnant 6-8mo = 8pts

pregnant 9mo = 12pts

Injury:

cast/sling = 2pts

boot = 6pts

crutches (no foot/leg cast) = 8pts

crutches with leg cast = 12 pts

walker = 8pts

wheelchair = 0pts

Relation:

Sister = 2pts

Mother = 1,000,000 pts

Wife = 1,000,001 pts

Wife's Mother = just get up and make your wife decide

Keep this with you at all times. Make sure to give extra priority to any senior ladies with a broken tibia in their third trimester!

Heated

2010-07-17T13:37:00.001-07:00

Obviously it has been a while if I am still talking about Lebron, but I'm going to anyway. I have to weigh in, but I've had some mixed feelings on the subject. For help, I'm turning to Tevye. Remember when he froze time so he could consider all the pros and cons of a decision? I think it would help me to take a minute to decide how I really feel...

Should he have stayed in Cleveland? They didn't grab any free agents. Bosh wouldn't play there, they lost out on Amare and Boozer. Their team wasn't enough. His owner and GM had 7 years to put the right talent around him...

On the other hand...

Going to Miami seems like/DEFINITELY IS selling out. "The Decision," aside from subjecting America to the greatest display of narcissism I can remember, was painfully awkward for other reasons. Yes he was disappointing the entire state of Ohio, but maybe he felt the way most of us did--this seems really unfair; like a pickup game where the kid who brought the ball splits up the teams and, coincidentally, the three best players on the court end up on his team.

But on the other hand...

This has never been done before. It has probably never been a possibility. Were Jordan and Barkley ever free agents at the same time? If Jordan didn't

have Scottie Pippen, would he have stuck it out in Chicago? If he has a chance to team up with another top 3 and a top 15, maybe we should be excited to see what they can do.

On the other hand..

With Chris Bosh being thrown onto center stage,

we'll have to look at his StarWars-ian mug on SportsCenter for the next 6 years.

But, on the other hand...

Great players usually have 10, maybe 15 years of build-a-team-around-me talent, barring injury, to win a championship. Lebron has used 7 of those (6 if you want to throw out his rookie year). He probably has 8, maybe 9 years of being good enough to carry a team before he becomes Kevin Garnett (sans title). This is a smart thing for him to do. Besides, is it really that different from Kobe-Shaq or Magic-Kareem?

On the other hand...

Garnett, Pierce and Allen were 31, 30, and 32 at the start of the 07-08 season, and had played 12, 9, and 11 seasons, respectively. They have reached the finals twice, and have a title to show for it. Lebron (25), Wade (28), and Bosh (26) have each played 7 seasons. LBJ and Wade are two of the top 3 players in the NBA right now, which no one could say about KG and Pierce. Good luck living up to the hype. Should have held out for Chris Paul, Lebron!

I must, in the end, echo Tevye while he weighed Tzeitel's matchmaking(<--watch):

"They gave each other a pledge? Unheard of! Absurd!

They gave each other a pledge! Unthinkable!

But look at [these players'] faces. [They] love [this]. [They] want [this].

And look at [these players'] eyes; so hopeful......(sigh)....TRADITION!!!"

The Draft

2010-06-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

I'll be on a Mexican vacation with my wonderful wife and her amazing family, so the Wimby and the World Cup and the start of the NBA free agency bonanza we can only hope lives up to the hype will have come and gone. I won't be thinking much about it on the beach, but I digress...a few comments:

NBA Draft

This year's NBA Draft was like any other--a whole lot of talk about outcomes of which we can never be certain. There were two players most think will make a splash, but as with most rookies going to mediocre teams, they might as well be a tulip planted in a desert, left alone to wither until more help arrives.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to see John Wall out here in DC, but I don't have high hopes for 2010-11 season. He'll make some plays, but who's he going to create for? Andray Blatche? (Ok, they have a few more pieces than that, but they mostly have a lot of B- players that used to be B+ or A- players)

What they ought to do with the draft (as I said on the air 6 weeks ago at 980AM...very impressive), is give the top pick to the team that just missed the playoffs, and picks 2-4 to the worst three teams. Why reward a team for tanking with 20 games to go so they get the #1 pick? Give the pick to a team that's a star away from being legitimate. Sure it might undeservedly reward an underachieving team, but wouldn't it make things interesting if Toronto, Houston, or Indiana had the chance to get a star to round out their rosters than teams like the Nets who have nothing but holes? Something to think about, Mr. Stern. Will you think about it?

Wimbledon

More on the state of tennis to come, but the only thing anyone can or should talk about thus far is John Isner and Nicolas Mahut, and the fifth set that made history. The thing I find most intriguing about the match is the second day, not because it went 7 hours without anyone breaking serve, or that it went so long, but the fact that round two of suspended matches rarely last long, and this one did...very long. It seems to me like whatever happens on day 1 of a suspended match, whatever rhythm or momentum each player has, is wiped clean for day two. The second day is up for whichever player can get in a rhythm first. I'm not saying it's no longer an equal playing field, but it may not be the outcome had lights been on.

With Isner and Mahut, they maintained that determination to win, for 7 hours, acing each other at record paces. One of the best matches ever.

That's all...have a great 4th of July!

Dude, U - gly

2010-06-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

Well, so much for a new conference. Common sense prevailed and Nebraska isn't as important as ensuring that football will be able to fund Texas sports for years to come. Instead, conference realignment has hit a little closer to home...

My parents, siblings and every one of my siblings-in-law went to BYU. I made my best friends at BYU schools (with the exception of my wonderful wife...love you babe). Many of my mentorish figures growing up were BYU-grads. I attended BYU, went to football games, was employed by BYU. I wouldn't have my current job without BYU.

I made it through all of that without detesting the University of Utah. They are the Duke to BYU's Carolina, the Ohio St to BYU's inner Michigan. Yet I've maintained a healthy respect. I don't get carried away. My grandparents graduated Utes, so did my father-in-law. But I have to honest; at this point, I hope the Utes never win another sporting event--ever.

The Mountain West Conference has always battled to get in with the big boys, but has always been "Bo-diddly Tech" to the Bryant Gumbles of the world (jerk).

TCU has made the MWC more relevant in recent years, and together with BYU and Utah, have made some noise for the BCS to consider. Boise St and Utah have proved themselves in their BCS bids in recent years. Miraculously, Boise St joined the MWC this month, making it a 4-relevant-team conference, which is nearly as good as the Pac-10 and Big Ten lately, and surely comparable to the Big East.

How does Utah respond?

Like Elton Brand to Baron Davis. Rather than staying, and enjoying the boost to the MWC, they pack up for the Pac-friggin-10 and leave the Mountain West essentially where it was before Boise St arrived. I understand the Pac-10 will give you a nice share of whatever TV deal it has, but didn't you want to see what would have happened?! Yes you would have had to play on blue turf every year, but wouldn't making the MWC a serious conference been good for college football?

I guess not, Benedict Arnold! Hope you go 1-10!

If I were NCAA Dictator...

2010-06-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

I'll admit, I'm kind of excited to see a little jumbling of conferences in the NCAA. I realize there are some old rivalries that may never be the same, or even exist anymore, but I think it will be interesting to see how it all ends up, kind of like this NBA off-season (can July 1 come sooner please?).

As of right now, Colorado to the Pac-10, Nebraska to the Big Ten, making it the Pac-11(?), and leaving the Big XII with 10 teams and Big Ten with 12. Anyway... It looks like Texas, Texas Tech, Texas A&M, OK and OK St may end up in the Pac...16? I still can't figure out why on earth Nebraska leaving makes the Big XII crumble, but it is what it is.

So, what next for ?

Obviously, the conference will be up to the schools, and we'll see how important basketball and football are to them. But...if I were an NCAA Dictator (and more interested in basketball than football), I would poachify the following teams to create a new conference:

The Big East has a ridiculous amount of teams for basketball, many of whose sole claim on "east" is that of being this side of the Mississippi. Therefore, I would send DePaul, Notre Dame and Marquette to join the Big XII leftovers in a new...Heartland? conference. In addition to those, I would steal Memphis (the lone star in Conf USA). THAT would be an awesome basketball conference, and a fair football.

In a perfect world, I might go a step further and throw in Louisville and Cincinnati too. That might take away the Big East's BCS spot, but do they really deserve it anyway? Maybe they could beg BC and Miami to join them.

So there you have it; introducing the Heartland Conference. Take that Big XII!

The re-Tool

2010-06-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, it has almost been two years since I posted anything. Apparently the last post (below) contained about two years worth of posting in itself. People complained. I was offended...I'm ready to forgive...

I've found two things since July 2008 (well, more than that, but for the sake of BREVITY, I shall limit myself to two things). Exactly 15 days after my last post, I took out my future wife on our first date. We went peach picking; we got married. I love her to death. She's kept a very good record of our lives (The Famblog). Annnnd...

I've found sports radio, which I guess means I am an actual commuter. Any potential for productive thought on my 1hr+ ride home has given way to the latest 3 stories ESPN has allowed to be spoken of that day. It's not all bad. I like the show I listen to--The Sports Reporters (AM 980; ESPN Radio in DC)-- and it helps me unwind.

At this point, however, I'm regaining a sports vigor I haven't had since high school. Perhaps that means I'm immaturing as my hair thins and joints stiffen, but for now I need an outlet! Sometimes the media skips over my great ideas and interesting comments and it's not fair to everyone. So...at least until this phase passes and I find something better to do with my commute, I'm going to use this to stop myself from talking back to the radio on my way home...

Workin' for the Man...a Year Later

2008-07-17T18:10:00.000-07:00

On July 27, 2007, before the sun came up, I finished packing my belongings in a Mazda Protege I planned on paying for, and left my parents' home in Olathe, KS. That's Kansas City to you. Driving away on that particular day meant a little more than on most days. Not only was I leaving home, but the food in its pantry, the gas cards in the glove boxes, and the king-sized bed, all of which garnished my home-for-the-summer days. The college years were fading away quickly. Yes, that was the day I left for real; the day I started working for the Man.

Corporate America. It's a world of opportunity, IPOs, board meetings, conference calls, cubicles and water coolers. It's a place where you don't call someone up, you 'reach out to them' or 'shoot them an email.' Companies aren't 'cool about letting you leave early for a dentist appointment,' they are helping you 'achieve work-life balance.' Acronyms even become prevalent enough to make you think twice about what USA means.

Just shy of a year into my career (what?!), I'm still not sure what to make of this army of 8-5ers we call the middle-upper class and the Man that employs them. I have felt the security of working for a giant in the middle of an economic downturn. I have enjoyed the corporate discounts, the Marriott points, and obscene allotment for out-of-town meals. I have also felt to groan at the relative insignificance of my employ, and the hopeless attempt of executives to really engage their employees in some new company plan (or 'journey'), to increase profits and make themselves...er, the company, a LOT more money! Hooray! I have come to understand, and sometimes appreciate, things like commercials and sit-coms depicting the Man's world in all its enslaving or pompous glory. I understand better my father's stresses, NEED for vacation, and oft voiced envy for a life occupied with schooling.

As increasingly cynical as I may be, though, I know I should not complain. As much as the Man takes, and would take if I let him, he compensates me well, and I'm beginning to believe that I actually am getting some good experience being so recently out of college.

I am even beginning to defend the stereotypes...

Airports collect people from all walks of life, making it great for those who like watching people. I suppose everyone who has gone to an airport enjoys to some degree the live candid shots of the old couple struggling to hear each other, or the innocence of an excited child. My least favorite category has always been the fast walking, hands-free phoning, computer-bag-and-overnight-case-wheeling business traveler. They tend to look above it all, pouring over reports or making notes on a legal pad, sitting cross-legged a few seats from anyone else. They are too busy and important to strike up any kind of 'hot enough for ya?,' or 'how bout them Cubs' kind of conversation, but keep to their smug selves as they make their next million. In short, they embody the Man himself.

Having traveled for business purposes a time or two in the last 11 months, though, I have begun to empathize with those smugly sons of the Man. If you have joined me in my eye rolling and 'pffff' mentality, please continue reading.

I recently traveled to Cleveland for training. After learning how to better maintain the bottom of the totem pole, I was shuttled to the airport. I had changed into jeans and flip-flops to shed any affiliation with business (which, I concede, is not always an option) and sat, reading a book, at the gate. As my eyes grew a bit heavy and my focus began to evaporate, I put my book down and took a look around, from person to person...

Those socks are PERFECT with those shorts, man..awesome...

How is she pushing that stroller with one hand? I try that with a grocery cart and I'm buying a new door for somebody...Gotta respect the mama...

Hey buddy, how bout finishing that pizza sauce on your cheek? Almost got it...c'mon...you can do it...ok, that's kind of a long time for your tongue to be out in public like that...that's it, the napkin...

Then I saw him. Probably 35 or 40, maybe 6'1", jet black hair, and a nice suit, sitting alone, absorbed with his phone conversation, no smile on his face.

pffff

I saw others too. One was talking to a co-worker about his interns, and the other expressed her limit of how much she could take of them.

PFFFF!

When the muffled announcement that we were allowed to board sounded among the din in the terminal, I made my way to my seat. A short flight meant a small plane, just three seats to a row, one on one side, two on the other. Our man in the suit sat across from me. After take-off I decided to find out about this guy, see if he was the smug businessman I took him for. To break the ice, I grabbed the section of my complementary Wall Street Journal least likely to confuse the heck out of me, and offered the rest to him.

"Need something to read?" I asked him. He thanked me and accepted

Of course you do.

A little bit later I decided I might have to be a little bold if I wanted to get anywhere. I wanted to find out why the suit.

"You have a meeting when you land?" I asked.

He smiled. "No, I just like to travel light. Makes it easier just to wear [the suit on the plane], you know?"

Understandable I guess. I've done that while traveling before. Maybe he's a regular dude.

He went on to explain that he's a co-founder of a multi-million dollar pharmaceutical company, on his way to Washington DC to meet with the FDA. They were a couple years out from an IPO, he said.

pffff

We continued talking, however. The Suit (we'll call him John) was down to earth. He moved here from Armenia with his family when he was 15, grew up in Northern Virginia, went to Georgetown, and worked for the National Cancer Institute before founding his company. He's running his second Chicago marathon later this year, to boot. John's voice was soft, but kinda cool in a Don Corleone way, and the purpose of his trip became the focal point of our conversation.

His meeting with the FDA the next day had nothing to do with his big-shot IPO. He was actually negotiating the approval for a drug that treats pancreatic cancer. His work at the National Cancer Institute had dealt a lot with altering genes (he explained it a bit differently, but that's all I can really say for sure). John has developed a vaccine that he thinks (along with others in the scientific community - it won an award) will really make some noise on the cancer-curing front. Here's why:

All mammals, other than humans and most primates, have a gene called alphaGal (the real name is huger) in their cells. Humans and primates fiercely reject anything with alphaGal in it. "A pig kidney was transplanted into a baboon, and it was jelly in an hour," he told me. I guess that means our immune response is pretty strong. So what John and staff did was genetically engineer cancer cells to include alphaGal and put it into a vaccine. When you are injected with the vaccine, your body destroys the cancer cells when it detects the alphaGal, but builds anti-bodies based on eliminating the cancer cell. Next time your body sees a cancer cell, it knows just what to do with it.

Another drug his company is developing is equally ingenious. The reason a female's body doesn't destroy a fetus, which is half foreign to her body (ask your parents), is because of a gene in the fetus called IDO (again, the real name is big), which deprives the white blood cells attacking it of an essential amino acid our bodies to not produce, tryptophan. White blood cells are useless without tryptophan, making the fetus invincible to the body's immune system. Cancer cells have IDO too. They found that supplying white blood cells with triptophan greatly increases their chances of beating cancer, especially if it is in league with chemotherapy.

The drugs are still in testing, but they have worked on mice and are in the testing phases on humans. He was pretty excited about it. So was I, by the time we landed. He gave me his card and told me to email him so we could keep in touch.

I'll admit it. I was impressed, and a little bit ashamed. John was down to earth, dedicated to his work, and far from smug. I think he will not mind the pay-day he may get if these drugs are successful, and he is definitely concerned with running a business, but he is, first and foremost, a scientist. He is doing something incredibly important, and I can't help but wish him the absolute best.

I will not say that there aren't corporate phonies out there, with their pin-striped shirts and cuff links, who really avoid all the vacationing or blue-collar travelers, and use a knife and fork to eat their toast in the morning. I'm sure there are executives and not-so-executives that accumulate a strong sense of entitlement over their careers. I have no doubt those guys exist in varying degrees, inspiring loathing in the lower floors of office buildings everywhere.

In general, however, we should be a bit more careful. Maybe we are too often fooled by the suit and Blackberry. Chances are that the Blackberry is paid for, and you probably wouldn't turn down a free Blackberry either. Maybe they are making notes for a meeting they didn't prepare for because they were coaching their daughter's soccer team. Maybe they are just 'packing light.' You never know, they may even be finding a cure for cancer.

29 Dec 2007 - The Last one before the First

2007-12-29T09:43:00.000-08:00

I haven't really made New Year's resolutions yet, but one of them will be to keep in better correspondence with friends. This is the last posting before I post my first posting in 2008, when the blog will really start, so I can keep in touch with you people.