Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Pregnancy is Pretty Cute

My wife is confident in herself. She doesn't obsess over weight; just wants to be healthy. She knows she's beautiful and amazing, and I'm quite glad to have married someone with a positive self-image. Pregnancy seems to frustrate women, not just because of the sometimes immediate and always growing discomfort and/or sickness, but because it re-shapes their bodies in a way they cannot control. I would say I understand, but of course I don't (as I am frequently reminded).

Pain, vomit, rib-kicking, bladder-squeezing and sleeplessness aside, I hope pregnant women know that they are pretty darn cute! I give you the following five proofs in no particular order:

5. A Gentle Snore - In a dream last week, I was on a covert mission at night, deep in the woods. Just outside the facility I was to enter for some dangerous, manly reason, I was waiting behind a tree. As I was scoping things out, I heard the growl of a dog behind me, slow and methodic. When I decided to make a run for it I woke up....The "growl" was coming from Hannah, gently snoring. I don't remember her snoring at all before pregnancy, and it's really cute. Plus, it means she's actually sleeping, which makes me happy.

4. The Pickup - I think it's fair to say that women start losing some agility as pregnancy wears on. I say 'some' because Hannah still takes daily walks, my mother-in-law ran 6mi pretty late into her first pregnancy, and I helped my mother move a piano across the room at -1 month. But I digress...Once a woman is up to 7 and 8 months, she can't just bend over and grab her shoe off the floor. Bending over requires careful balance as she must take into account a new center of gravity. Hannah looks very adorable when she has to squat and gently lean to pick something up. I help when I can though...for the record (though Hannah just said that might be a little generous. What can I say? It's just too cute not to watch sometimes! :)

3. The Bump - The baby bump is a status symbol. So many are aware of the difficulty of lugging that bump around that it demands an air of respect. Crowds part, parents smile, kids ask questions, and the father is proud, grateful. It's sad to hear a pregnant woman say she's 'gigantic' or 'huge' as if she had let herself gain 20lbs because, as my brother-in-law pointed out, she's really just 'great.'

2. Little Helplessnesses - I admit, I was a little on the 'what the?' side when Hannah first asked me to remove her socks. When I looked at her for confirmation that she had really just requested such a thing, and saw her sad little face, I had to chuckle a little.

1. 'Ma'am, your shirt is moving' - For Hannah it is pretty common place, and she often responds with a seemingly random "Hi baby! What's up?" to which I sometimes stupidely reply "huh?" Baby movements have been happening for 20 weeks now, but I'm still pretty excited every time I get to feel one. I love seeing Hannah push a knee or bum away from her ribs while reading, or seeing her belly lurch when our little dude has the hiccups.

Yeah, seeing Hannah pregnant has made me love her even more. Hopefully she thinks it's worth doing a few more times!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Car stupid




I have a 2000 Mazda Protege. It's about 85 in car years and has had several surgeries in its later years. I know about as much about fixing cars as I do about fixing the Hubble. That's why I call my buddy whenever there is something wrong with it, stand there while he works, and give him a nice "tip," as he calls it, when he's done.

When I watch him, I think..."it's not that complicated really. I've replaced a headlight by myself, not to mention filling up the tires and installing new windshield wipers. This is about the same, only with a socket wrench." Watching him fix my breaks, install an EGR valve, remove the entire manifold assembly chassis something-or-other with relative ease makes me feel like I could do it with some coaching.

Most recently, however, he changed my spark plugs, each of which is encased in a rubber tube with a metal coil deep inside of it. As he was switching them out and I stood by, dutifully watching and making sporadic conversation, he noticed one of those coils was broken and therefore not as long as the other spark plugs' coils. "It probably won't matter, but it might after awhile. Here's what you do," he said, "you just need to wad up a paper clip and push it down in there if the engine starts giving you trouble."

I looked at him blankly, trying to imagine myself loosening bolts with my little wrench and/or pliers..."So I just need to...ok" I said, nodding, acting like I was figuring it out in my head. A moment or two of worried silence passed. It won't be too hard. I had seen him take them out a couple of times now, and I saw the coil.

Then he said, "Should we see if it will be alright like it is now?"

I thanked whatever car gods may be. He removed the plug and "we" made sure the current would flow uninterrupted to light a spark. Only afterward did I realize how relieved I was. I felt a little ashamed, to be honest, at my total ineptness.

Maybe I should have welcomed the challenge. Maybe I would have done just fine...Or maybe I'm just car stupid.