Et tu, BYU?

My faithful readers (of which there are MANY) will remember my previous blasting of the University of Utah for leaving the Mountain West conference for the PAC-10. I thought it was a selfish move. The PAC-10 gives them a share of a nice multi-million dollar TV deal and chance at an automatic BCS bid (also a big money-maker). The college football fan in me wanted to see if the Mountain West could become a big boy conference with TCU, BYU, UofU and Boise St. But alas, Utah had to ruin it with their greedy ways!

******** OFFICIAL APOLOGY ********

This post is my official apology to my thousands of UofU readers (whom I admire for not sending any hate mail last time). I do not apologize for hating you because you left. That sentiment still remains. I do apologize for acting like the rest of the Mountain West was above your quest for more money. BYU is not. It has followed in footsteps I never would have expected...Notre Dame!

Apparently BYU wants to be independent for football, and go back to the WAC for all other sports...much like ND and the Big East. This way, BYU won't have to share any TV-deal revenue and will potentially be BCS-eligible if they are ranked high enough. There may be other reasons I don't know about, but it seems to be a move motivated by glory; "taking its talents to South Beach" if you will. It may not even happen, but the thought alone is killing me right now.

I guess it's just football, and this will give BYU some flexibility in scheduling and, with extra football money, they can give more scholarships to other sports and university programs (and stop asking me for money every month! Just kidding...I support supporting your alma mater). But it feels a little irresponsible. I thought BYU would be a little more family-oriented. I thought it would let patience and endurance guide its conscience. I thought it would show its determination, and team with its allies to rise above the tyranny of the BCS! I wanted BYU to draw a circle around itself with chalk and say, "I will not leave this circle until the MWC is a BCS conference. No, not ever!"

Oh well...

Special thanks to Lebron James, Outkast, and Karl G Maeser for their contributions

Metro Caste

From what I have observed in Washington DC, chivalry is in a coma. I do my best when I ride the metro, which isn't terribly often, to at least offer my seat to whatever lady shuffles her way near my seat. Sometimes it is an awkward exchange. Often the ambient noise is much louder than I anticipate and she can't hear me offer. Other times she straight-up declines, probably wanting to get her money's worth out of those Asics she has on if she's going to wear them with a skirt. Sometimes, if I don't offer my seat directly and clearly to woman, some dude will scurry over to it, avoiding eye contact with anyone, which is quite embarrassing to males everywhere.

I have gone so far as to ask a few women what they think about the issue. Honestly, the younger women don't seem to care as much. Some of the indifference, I believe, is not necessarily that they wouldn't like to be offered a seat, but because they accept things as they are: men just aren't as gentlemanly, so why worry about it. The rest I will chalk up to being a generation who doesn't need men for anything! So rot in that seat!

My inquiries have mostly been to younger women, who, again, don't seem to care. I got to thinking about this however, and ya know what? As I will prove in a moment, women under the age of 35 are pretty low on the Metro Caste anyway! For those who decide to give up your seat, I have put together a point system for any gentlemen left out there who may need a little help prioritizing...

Age:

18-35 = 2pts

36-55 = 5pts

56+ = 8pts

Note: You will of course, have to estimate. This is the one time in your life it will be smart to round up.

Shoes:

.5 point per inch

Carrying:

Purse: 0pts

Briefcase: weird

Backpack: 2pts

Carry-on: 3pts

5 pts for every large suitcase, unless she can sit on said suitcases

Mothers:

pregnant 0-5mo = 2pts (the only symptoms here will probably be nausea or exhaustion, which would warrant 2 pts anyway)

1 child = 6pts + 3pts each additional child (+ 5pts if crying)

pregnant 6-8mo = 8pts

pregnant 9mo = 12pts

Injury:

cast/sling = 2pts

boot = 6pts

crutches (no foot/leg cast) = 8pts

crutches with leg cast = 12 pts

walker = 8pts

wheelchair = 0pts

Relation:

Sister = 2pts

Mother = 1,000,000 pts

Wife = 1,000,001 pts

Wife's Mother = just get up and make your wife decide

Keep this with you at all times. Make sure to give extra priority to any senior ladies with a broken tibia in their third trimester!

Heated

Obviously it has been a while if I am still talking about Lebron, but I'm going to anyway. I have to weigh in, but I've had some mixed feelings on the subject. For help, I'm turning to Tevye. Remember when he froze time so he could consider all the pros and cons of a decision? I think it would help me to take a minute to decide how I really feel...

Should he have stayed in Cleveland? They didn't grab any free agents. Bosh wouldn't play there, they lost out on Amare and Boozer. Their team wasn't enough. His owner and GM had 7 years to put the right talent around him...

On the other hand...

Going to Miami seems like/DEFINITELY IS selling out. "The Decision," aside from subjecting America to the greatest display of narcissism I can remember, was painfully awkward for other reasons. Yes he was disappointing the entire state of Ohio, but maybe he felt the way most of us did--this seems really unfair; like a pickup game where the kid who brought the ball splits up the teams and, coincidentally, the three best players on the court end up on his team.

But on the other hand...

This has never been done before. It has probably never been a possibility. Were Jordan and Barkley ever free agents at the same time? If Jordan didn't

have Scottie Pippen, would he have stuck it out in Chicago? If he has a chance to team up with another top 3 and a top 15, maybe we should be excited to see what they can do.

On the other hand..

With Chris Bosh being thrown onto center stage,

we'll have to look at his StarWars-ian mug on SportsCenter for the next 6 years.

But, on the other hand...

Great players usually have 10, maybe 15 years of build-a-team-around-me talent, barring injury, to win a championship. Lebron has used 7 of those (6 if you want to throw out his rookie year). He probably has 8, maybe 9 years of being good enough to carry a team before he becomes Kevin Garnett (sans title). This is a smart thing for him to do. Besides, is it really that different from Kobe-Shaq or Magic-Kareem?

On the other hand...

Garnett, Pierce and Allen were 31, 30, and 32 at the start of the 07-08 season, and had played 12, 9, and 11 seasons, respectively. They have reached the finals twice, and have a title to show for it. Lebron (25), Wade (28), and Bosh (26) have each played 7 seasons. LBJ and Wade are two of the top 3 players in the NBA right now, which no one could say about KG and Pierce. Good luck living up to the hype. Should have held out for Chris Paul, Lebron!

I must, in the end, echo Tevye while he weighed Tzeitel's matchmaking(<--watch):

"They gave each other a pledge? Unheard of! Absurd!

They gave each other a pledge! Unthinkable!

But look at [these players'] faces. [They] love [this]. [They] want [this].

And look at [these players'] eyes; so hopeful......(sigh)....TRADITION!!!"

The Draft

I'll be on a Mexican vacation with my wonderful wife and her amazing family, so the Wimby and the World Cup and the start of the NBA free agency bonanza we can only hope lives up to the hype will have come and gone. I won't be thinking much about it on the beach, but I digress...a few comments:

NBA Draft

This year's NBA Draft was like any other--a whole lot of talk about outcomes of which we can never be certain. There were two players most think will make a splash, but as with most rookies going to mediocre teams, they might as well be a tulip planted in a desert, left alone to wither until more help arrives.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to see John Wall out here in DC, but I don't have high hopes for 2010-11 season. He'll make some plays, but who's he going to create for? Andray Blatche? (Ok, they have a few more pieces than that, but they mostly have a lot of B- players that used to be B+ or A- players)

What they ought to do with the draft (as I said on the air 6 weeks ago at 980AM...very impressive), is give the top pick to the team that just missed the playoffs, and picks 2-4 to the worst three teams. Why reward a team for tanking with 20 games to go so they get the #1 pick? Give the pick to a team that's a star away from being legitimate. Sure it might undeservedly reward an underachieving team, but wouldn't it make things interesting if Toronto, Houston, or Indiana had the chance to get a star to round out their rosters than teams like the Nets who have nothing but holes? Something to think about, Mr. Stern. Will you think about it?

Wimbledon

More on the state of tennis to come, but the only thing anyone can or should talk about thus far is John Isner and Nicolas Mahut, and the fifth set that made history. The thing I find most intriguing about the match is the second day, not because it went 7 hours without anyone breaking serve, or that it went so long, but the fact that round two of suspended matches rarely last long, and this one did...very long. It seems to me like whatever happens on day 1 of a suspended match, whatever rhythm or momentum each player has, is wiped clean for day two. The second day is up for whichever player can get in a rhythm first. I'm not saying it's no longer an equal playing field, but it may not be the outcome had lights been on.

With Isner and Mahut, they maintained that determination to win, for 7 hours, acing each other at record paces. One of the best matches ever.

That's all...have a great 4th of July!

Dude, U - gly

Well, so much for a new conference. Common sense prevailed and Nebraska isn't as important as ensuring that football will be able to fund Texas sports for years to come. Instead, conference realignment has hit a little closer to home...

My parents, siblings and every one of my siblings-in-law went to BYU. I made my best friends at BYU schools (with the exception of my wonderful wife...love you babe). Many of my mentorish figures growing up were BYU-grads. I attended BYU, went to football games, was employed by BYU. I wouldn't have my current job without BYU.

I made it through all of that without detesting the University of Utah. They are the Duke to BYU's Carolina, the Ohio St to BYU's inner Michigan. Yet I've maintained a healthy respect. I don't get carried away. My grandparents graduated Utes, so did my father-in-law. But I have to honest; at this point, I hope the Utes never win another sporting event--ever.

The Mountain West Conference has always battled to get in with the big boys, but has always been "Bo-diddly Tech" to the Bryant Gumbles of the world (jerk).

TCU has made the MWC more relevant in recent years, and together with BYU and Utah, have made some noise for the BCS to consider. Boise St and Utah have proved themselves in their BCS bids in recent years. Miraculously, Boise St joined the MWC this month, making it a 4-relevant-team conference, which is nearly as good as the Pac-10 and Big Ten lately, and surely comparable to the Big East.

How does Utah respond?

Like Elton Brand to Baron Davis. Rather than staying, and enjoying the boost to the MWC, they pack up for the Pac-friggin-10 and leave the Mountain West essentially where it was before Boise St arrived. I understand the Pac-10 will give you a nice share of whatever TV deal it has, but didn't you want to see what would have happened?! Yes you would have had to play on blue turf every year, but wouldn't making the MWC a serious conference been good for college football?

I guess not, Benedict Arnold! Hope you go 1-10!

If I were NCAA Dictator...

I'll admit, I'm kind of excited to see a little jumbling of conferences in the NCAA. I realize there are some old rivalries that may never be the same, or even exist anymore, but I think it will be interesting to see how it all ends up, kind of like this NBA off-season (can July 1 come sooner please?).

As of right now, Colorado to the Pac-10, Nebraska to the Big Ten, making it the Pac-11(?), and leaving the Big XII with 10 teams and Big Ten with 12. Anyway... It looks like Texas, Texas Tech, Texas A&M, OK and OK St may end up in the Pac...16? I still can't figure out why on earth Nebraska leaving makes the Big XII crumble, but it is what it is.

So, what next for ?

Obviously, the conference will be up to the schools, and we'll see how important basketball and football are to them. But...if I were an NCAA Dictator (and more interested in basketball than football), I would poachify the following teams to create a new conference:

The Big East has a ridiculous amount of teams for basketball, many of whose sole claim on "east" is that of being this side of the Mississippi. Therefore, I would send DePaul, Notre Dame and Marquette to join the Big XII leftovers in a new...Heartland? conference. In addition to those, I would steal Memphis (the lone star in Conf USA). THAT would be an awesome basketball conference, and a fair football.

In a perfect world, I might go a step further and throw in Louisville and Cincinnati too. That might take away the Big East's BCS spot, but do they really deserve it anyway? Maybe they could beg BC and Miami to join them.

So there you have it; introducing the Heartland Conference. Take that Big XII!

The re-Tool

Ok, it has almost been two years since I posted anything. Apparently the last post (below) contained about two years worth of posting in itself. People complained. I was offended...I'm ready to forgive...

I've found two things since July 2008 (well, more than that, but for the sake of BREVITY, I shall limit myself to two things). Exactly 15 days after my last post, I took out my future wife on our first date. We went peach picking; we got married. I love her to death. She's kept a very good record of our lives (The Famblog). Annnnd...

I've found sports radio, which I guess means I am an actual commuter. Any potential for productive thought on my 1hr+ ride home has given way to the latest 3 stories ESPN has allowed to be spoken of that day. It's not all bad. I like the show I listen to--The Sports Reporters (AM 980; ESPN Radio in DC)-- and it helps me unwind.

At this point, however, I'm regaining a sports vigor I haven't had since high school. Perhaps that means I'm immaturing as my hair thins and joints stiffen, but for now I need an outlet! Sometimes the media skips over my great ideas and interesting comments and it's not fair to everyone. So...at least until this phase passes and I find something better to do with my commute, I'm going to use this to stop myself from talking back to the radio on my way home...